The (Not for) tourist’s guide to Paris:
1) Buy a map. But don’t use it in public.
2) Don’t worry about getting lost. You’ll figure it out eventually, and even if you don’t you’ll learn more about Paris that way anyway.
3) Always go in churches. They’re always cold in a city with little air conditioning.
4) Go to Angelina for the hot chocolate, Mariage Freres for tea (and snoodiness), and Laduree for an expensive coffee. Then go pick a random unknown restaurant and eat some real food. It doesn’t matter where, they’re all good.
5) Eat a street crepe, both savory (try the egg-chicken) and sweet.
6) Go up the eiffel tower, but only late at night when it’s lit up. Every half hour it will sparkle, and the city is more beautiful at night.
7) If you can get in, go to a fireman’s ball.
8) Be there for bastille day and see the fireworks
9) Have a picnic. anywhere. Luxembourg gardens, champ de mars, place de vosges, next to the Seine.
10) Take advantage of good cheap wine in the supermarkets.
11) Explore the Marais. Eat at Crepes Suzette. Or the Culinary Institute.
12) Go to le Gay Choc and L’As du Falafel
13) Gelato Alberto
14) Musée de l’Orangerie, Musée Carnavalet, Musée d’Orsay, Le Petit Palais. Forget the Louvre.
15) Try the macarons at Pierre Hermé or Dalloyau.
16) Go to Galleries Lafayette and Printemps, see the inside of the Opera Garnier.
17) Walk around north of the Louvre and Opera. Window shop the great fashion houses. Walk through the Galleries and Passages. Feel/pretend you are rich.
18) Walk everywhere. Eat well. Take care of your skin. That is how to be french.
19) Spend an evening in Bercy. Visit Chinatown and the National Library. The less traveled areas of Paris.
20) Remember it doesn’t matter where you are or what you do, only who you are with and how much you laugh.